Helping Little Hearts (and Your Own!) Through Big Holiday Feelings







About the Author Nancy Joerger is a Product Development Specialist. Prior to joining Great Kids®, she worked as the Assistant Program Manager of the Early Head Start Program in Madison County. She lives in Hamilton, NY, with her husband and two daughters. She enjoys spending time with her family, boating, and being creative in her free time.

When my girls were little, they’d burst with excitement on Christmas morning. They would bounce out of bed and race down the stairs, their eyes wide and eager to see if any presents had magically appeared under the tree overnight. Their joy was pure and uncontainable.

As I watched them tear into gifts, my brain started making lists: batteries to find, twist ties to untangle, boxes to break down. My mind was everywhere except in the moment. Then, in the blink of an eye, that joyful chaos shifted; one toy didn’t work, another wasn’t what they expected, and suddenly there were tears. Big ones.

The enchanted vision I’d been trying to create dissolved into the reality of “big emotions,” theirs and mine. And just like that, Christmas morning didn’t feel so special anymore.

4 Tips to Stay Grounded During the Holiday Hustle

In that moment, I realized that what we all needed wasn’t a picture-perfect holiday, but a way to stay grounded and connected through the commotion. Even the most thoughtful plans don’t always go as expected. The holidays can feel unsettling and overwhelming, and it’s normal for things to go off track.

Here are some tips for navigating the holiday season with more calm and connection for you and your children.

Prioritize routines. The holidays can disrupt a child’s schedule or routine, often resulting in skipped naps, late bedtimes, and unfamiliar environments.^1,4  Try to stay on the child’s established schedule as much as possible, even when away from your typical space. They may even need a little extra time and attention from you as they go to bed or down for a nap.

Set expectations ahead of time. To help avoid or minimize feelings of overwhelm in children, discuss upcoming events in advance to prepare them. You can also use simple drawings or pictures to show the day’s plan and encourage a child to cross them off as the day progresses. Preparation can ease anxiety!^2,4  

Build in breaks. Children may need a quiet place to reset and take a break. Designate a quiet space or bring noise-canceling headphones to help them relax and separate from the commotion.^2,4  You could also bring along their comfort items, such as a favorite doll, stuffed animal, blanket, or pillow, to help them feel at ease. Children love to have their special things with them.

If a meltdown occurs, remember that your calm is contagious. Before helping your child regulate, take a moment to center yourself.

Grounding Yourself: Take a moment to pause and center yourself before reacting.

1. First, take time to regulate your emotions.³  Try taking some deep breaths, walking away from a situation, or taking a moment to look out a window.

2. Then, remind yourself that perfection isn’t the goal, connection is! Try to understand how your child is feeling and put their feelings into words.³ Connecting with your child helps them feel supported.

3. Once a child feels understood and is calmer, you can begin to problem solve and plan the next steps.^1,3

Looking back, I realize those mornings were never about the gifts or the perfect photo-worthy moment. They were about being together—messy, emotional, and real. The holidays can be beautiful, but they can also bring strong emotions to the surface, especially for children. All that excitement, change, and sensory overload can be overwhelming, both for them and for us.

At the heart of it all, it’s important to remember that your child doesn’t need a perfect parent; they need a present one. Keep showing up, loving big, and taking care of yourself along the way. Your children will still have wonderful memories of the holidays and maybe even some funny stories to share as well!

Resources to Support Professionals Navigating These Conversations With Families

From self-paced foundational courses on child development and trauma to parenting and family-strengthening curricula, professional development courses, instructor-led communication training, and specialized tools for building resilience—our offerings equip child welfare professionals with practical, evidence-informed resources to help families heal, grow, and thrive.

References:

1. American Academy of Pediatrics. (2023, December 22). 7 Holiday mental health tips for families. Healthychildren.org. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Pages/Holiday-Mental-Health-Tips.aspx?

• Ehmke, R. (2024, November 1). How to take the stress out of family gatherings: Tips for helping your kids be at their best and have fun, too. Child Mind Institute. https://childmind.org/article/how-to-take-the-stress-out-of-family-gatherings/

• Gilgoff, R., & Bhushan, D. (2024, May 17). Why kids act out: Tips to help your child cope with stress. Healthychildren.org. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Building-Resilience/Pages/why-kids-act-out-tips-to-help-your-child-cope-with-stress.aspx

• Whitney, R. V. (2021, January 4). Using the science of sensory process to survive the holidays. Occupationaltherapy.com. https://www.occupationaltherapy.com/articles/using-science-sensory-process-to-5379/